The finale of If Its With You left me feeling wistful. The ending scenes transported me back to memories of what it was like to be in the throes of a crush that has been fully realized by both parties but not acknowledged in its entirety. You know that feeling when you're in the presence of your crush. Your body is wound tight with excitement, and you feel everything with a tightness in your chest and body. You can't help but notice every little thing about them, and you're constantly left thirsty for little details or moments of nothing special to store away for later because it's never enough in that moment.
The final episode, especially from the scene when they left their friends to go watch the fireworks alone, had me completely immersed and captivated. I was present but not fully present because I could almost feel what Amane was feeling. I was as eager to know what Ryuji was thinking. Was this the moment we were supposed to be sure of his affections? Did the fact that he so boldly declined the offer to watch the fireworks with the others mean that he wanted it to be just the two of them? Dear reader, I'm sure you've been in similar situations - finally being alone with your amore and revelling in each moment as if there wouldn’t be a next, only to be interrupted by something insignificant. Like an interruption that takes you out of your own little world.
My expectations for the finale were that we would have a sensual scene of Ryuji and Amane getting closer physically after Kohaku. I anticipated more than just a barely there and barely seen kiss, especially because the first scene was bold, depicting Amane and his previous love interest having clearly just made love to each other in a love motel. Unfortunately, my expectations were not met due to the limited number of episodes. I had certainly expected to see a love scene and, most importantly, a full kiss. Instead, we were presented with a sweet but very chaste kiss, which was somewhat surprising considering the previous scene. However, this did not diminish the magic of Kohaku and their coming together. It turns out that I still enjoy sweet dramas about first love.
The finale somewhat satisfied my emotional investment in Ryuji and Amane - individually and together. The writers and Wataru Hyuga (Ryuji-kun) did a great job portraying Ryuji-kun's character following the death of his father and how it transformed his perspective on his future and his place in the Yamasuge Family. What fascinated me the most was the nuanced portrayal of Ryuji's lack of consideration for a romantic relationship.
However, I genuinely think that more screen time should have been dedicated to Ryuji-kun. Episode 4 shouldn't have solely focused on demonstrating the passing of time and Amane's longing for Ryuji-kun. Instead, it should have been used to show Ryuji-kun slowly falling for and opening up to the possibility of a romantic relationship with Amane. While they still conveyed this well enough in the finale, I still wish we had gotten more of Ryuji-kun's point of view and his journey to Kohaku with Amane.
Perhaps the way Wataru Hyuga portrayed Ryuji-kun left me hungry for more chances to revel in those moments when he took the lead with Amane, displaying effortless but pointed confidence. I loved how slick he was, like when someone bumped into Amane on the way to the beach and Ryuji-kun used it as an opportunity to grab hold of Amane's hand. He was so casual about it, but poor Amane was obviously shaken and trying not to get too excited because it was still unclear whether Ryuji-kun would accept his confession.
In this finale, Ryuji-kun reminded me of my own moments in the past, where I had to casually orchestrate and play off-key romantic moments on a date. You know, like when you tell your best friend that you're nervous but secretly want to come up with a game plan to ensure hand-holding and kissing on the date. I came away with a strange, baseless inkling that Hyuga Wataru might perhaps carry himself like this around love interests in real life because he pulled it off so well. To be fair, the acting, music, and cinematography made me feel like I was there. I could practically feel the summer heat, the headiness of that moment, and Amane's longing for Ryuji to be his.
The scenes that resonated with me the most and made me fall in love with this series are: when Amane reassured Ryuji-kun's dad that he would be there for him, when Amane tried to pass off his confession of being gay as a joke and Ryuji-kun called him out on it, when we finally got a glimpse into Ryuji-kun's perspective as he debated whether to reach out to Amane, when Ryuji-kun expressed his preference to watch the fireworks with Amane and boldly grabbed and held his hand in the alley, when Ryuji-kun agreed to let Amane kiss him and later stole another quick kiss, and all the scenes of Amane adoringly staring at and being infatuated with how cute Ryuji is throughout the series. From beginning to end.
All in all, the ending of the series was beautifully executed, but oh, how I wish it had been longer than five episodes. But lest we anger the Japanese BL Gods, I shall still extend my thanks to the team behind the show and wait for the next Japanese BL with bated breath.
Tell me, are you as in love with Ryuji-kun as I am?
Note: This blog post is a personal reflection on the finale of the romantic series "If Its With You." The opinions expressed are solely mine.